Henry’s latest accessory

Well, I got on here meaning to post all about the details of the start of Kim’s make-over, but something came up.  And if you are just joining me for the first time, heeeeello!  I’m so glad that you are here!  Really, I am.  You coming here makes me smile and makes my day a lil brighter so thank you.  Woooowee…that kind sounded as if I was about to write a little poem for you, didn’t it, or maybe a lil diddy.  I won’t lie I have been known to bust out a song…I don’t think I could quite call it a rap.  No wait, I’m 100% sure that it definitely wouldn’t qualify as a rap.  I’m sure as much as you would love to see me, ahem <cough, cough>, rap, I will save you and me the embarrassment of it all and just simply say that I appreciate you swinging by here.   If you want to see what Scout & Nimble is all about, this post can cover that…it is some of my favorite projects that I have completed to date.  If you want to try to understand what kind of things go on inside this head of mine, click on the “about me” tab above.  I have only been at this a short time, but I have found that I am totally and utterly addicted to it…so please continue to stop by and say hello…I will be here.

So the deets on the make-over will have to wait until tomorrow because something more pressing has come up.  I have these two adorable boys, right?  Henry and Oliver or Ahhhber as we call him around here.

They pretty much rock my world…in a totally good way, although, there are indeed moments where it can be in a why does this have to be so hard kind of way, but I’m thankful I’m not alone and can at any given time call any other mother and be reassured that it’s not just me.

Henry is my blue eyed boy and he has the LONGEST eyelashes.

He literally came into this world with gorgeous thick dark lashes.  People would constantly come up to me asking if I put fake eyelashes on my baby.

Aren’t they ridiculous.  He has no clue what women would pay for those babies.

As beautiful as he is, he is also one tough kid.  Not tough in the sense that he could take on an army of boys, but more in the sense that he has had several medical issues.   And every issue, sickness, or surgery that he has faced, has only come to reveal an even more beautiful and amazing child.  This lil boy rolls with the punches and just gets up and gets on with it.  I feel like, in some instances, he has handled everything far better than I have.

When Henry was about 1, we noticed that one of his eyes was drifting.  It started out just as a slight squint when we were outside which was barely noticeable to his eye drifting out so much so that people started to ask questions.  It was hard to capture pictures of him with both of his eyes focusing in the same direction.   After many appointments with doctors, we realized that both eyes were drifting and he would need to undergo surgery.  We had surgery when he was almost 2 and I cannot begin to explain how hard it is to “electively” make a decision like that…to hand over your baby knowing he is going to wake up in pain and be confused.  Now, please know, that I understand comparable to what some parents have to go through with their children…this is probably nothing.  My heart aches when I hear stories about what some kids and their families have to deal with whether it be cancer, heart surgery, disease, prematurity, or any sort of defect or deficiency.  I have seen my share of it considering my background in pediatric and neonatal nursing.  My heart and my prayers go out to those who are dealing with these issues and I am consistently amazed by these families strength, attitude and ability to handle the ups and downs.

Well, about 4 months after the surgery, we realized that it didn’t fix the problem completely.   The doctor said that he may need surgery again and that we would just continue to watch it and follow up every 3-4 months.  One morning, I took  the boys to Henry’s follow up appointment expecting to go through the same routine as before and leave with another appointment.  Well, on this particular day, the doctor said something that I wasn’t totally prepared for.  He told me that Henry needed glasses.  I said ok, took the prescription, scheduled another follow up and then I got in the car and cried.  I cried hard.  I know, it’s crazy, I mean it’s just glasses, right?  But, for me, in that moment, it was so much more.  My baby had “one more thing” that was wrong…couldn’t he ever catch a break?  I already felt like I was getting weird looks from people when I would explain that yes, Henry is sick again, or Henry is allergic to that…only hemp milk for Henry,  &, the doozie, yes, he has already had more surgeries than I have had in my entire 32 years of life.  I felt like that mom that everyone wonders about…like is she doing this to him?  I got to the point where I didn’t want to talk about any of his medical stuff with anyone and hated to go to new doctors where we had to list his lengthy medical history.  All of this before the age of 2???  Looking back, I think I cried hardest in the car that day because I felt extremely helpless…I couldn’t always protect my baby.   I felt guilty…like it must have been something I did while I was pregnant.  I know it’s nuts, but I was a hormonal mess.  And with the risk of sounding vain, it wasn’t that didn’t want to cover up his beautiful baby blues.  I just knew deep down, I just didn’t want my baby to change.  You are probably thinkin…dude, it is just glasses…chill out, it could be worse.  Believe me, I was telling myself that, too.  But, I couldn’t help the way I was feeling.

Now, please understand, that I wasn’t a blubbering mess for weeks about this, I just had a moment and I have chosen to share it with you.  Not so you can think that I am a horrible mother, but to show you the real me.  Sometimes I read blogs where everything is perfect and it makes me feel inadequate…I never want you to feel that way when coming here.  Soooo, continuing on, I always put a smile on my face for him and we talked about his eyes and why he needed glasses.  We even spent a day at the library finding all the books we could find about glasses and showing Henry that he was not alone.

And Henry, well, he just thought it was the coolest thing…he picked out his Diego glasses with the transition lenses and then he pointed out everyone who was “like” him.  And, wow, was that an eye opening experience.  Literally everywhere we went, like 1 in 2 people would be wearing glasses.  One day, I slipped his glasses on him after he woke up from a nap and he replied, “thank you mama…I can see now!”.  Oh, dagger through the heart…I couldn’t believe that I’d never known that things were blurry to him!

So, fast forward to today, where now, when I picture, My Henry…I picture his angelic lil face with his adorable glasses being his sweet little self.

I got used to seeing his sweet face in hims glasses that now when he has them off, I think he looks so different.  It’s funny how that has happened.

As of right now, most of all the other medical stuff is behind us and Henry is just doing so well.  We still have an appointment with the eye doctor every 3-4 months, but that is no big thang…especially to Henry.  The kid even puts eyedrops in his own eyes…I’m telling ya, he is a pro.  So, last week, the doctor also told us that his eyes are getting worse and we would need to get new glasses, possibly plan for surgery in the summer and patch his “better” eye everyday for at least 4 hours.

I had a moment where I was nervous for Henry.  I was nervous that he wouldn’t leave a patch on, I was nervous that kids would make fun of him, but, I took one look at my precious boy and realized that Henry was so much stronger than I gave him credit for.  After using the “band aid” type patch,

I knew that I wanted to make something softer that wouldn’t irritate his skin and if Henry has to wear an eye patch for 4 hours a day until April, we might as well make him have some style, right??? I mean, look at the outfit choices that he pulls together…it’s totally obvious that he is on top of the trends.

So, I am taking a cue from my son and just going with it…I got some fabric together and made him an eyepatch, well several eyepatches that is, so we can change it up according to his mood.  And Henry thinks he is a pirate…he wore it to preschool for the first time and at circle time he told everyone that his super cool patch is to make his eye feel better so it won’t be stuck anymore.  That made this mama so incredibly proud…when the teacher told me that, it brought tears to my eyes.  I literally had to bite the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t be known as “that mom who was crying when she picked up her son with the eyepatch”.

Now, we are still working the kinks (yep, the dinosaur is upside down) out of the patch and I will post a tutorial here soon.

Not that I think everyone can use it seeing how only 1-5% of the population has these sort of eye problems.  But, on the off chance that you know someone who is dealing with it…you could pass it along and reassure the mom that it is not her fault…maybe give her a pat on the back and tell her she is doing a great job, too.

Also, here is a good website about pediatric ophthalmology issues.  Just recently I have run into a few people who had children showing the same signs as Henry and it was great to reassure them and tell them what to expect.  I think sometimes it just nice to know that you are not alone.

And no, in case you are wondering, I haven’t taught Henry how to blog, yet…in the pic above he is playing on his favorite PBS website and I’m not sure if you can see it or not, but Oliver is in the background doing this

Yep, we like to start em early…gotta love Apple.


18 thoughts on “Henry’s latest accessory

  1. Henry’s strength and joy clearly comes from you. I know that every little thing that our little ones go through, we feel ten times over. Hang in there and keep swimming. Henry is one lucky, little boy to have a strong, loving Mama. From one mama to another – you and Henry are in my thoughts and prayers today.

    • Awe, thank you so much. Your kind words are such a sweet gift to me today…thank you for that. And now everytime I hear Dory say “just keep swimming” in Finding Nemo (a regular in our house) it is going to remind me of your words of encouragement today. 😉 I love it…

  2. Jesse,
    I just had to write to you to affirm the wonderful job you are doing with your sons because someone did that to me during a time when I was feeling down and it meant the world to me. You see, when someone, a teacher, a friend, a relative, comments about what a wonderful child you have, something thoughtful that your child said, it is certainly a compliment about your son or daughter, but it’s much more. Your child is a reflection, a mirror, so to speak of you. You have worked with them, taught them how to say thoughtful things, to be kind and caring and this is how it shows, as a reflection of you. Henry’s ability to be strong and to adapt is a reflection of you and your perseverance and flexibility, and while you are proud of him, pat yourself on the back as well for a job well done. It’s a lot of hard work, but aren’t the rewards priceless?

    I so enjoy your blog and appreciate your sharing Henry with us. What a gift he is.

    • I didn’t mean to forget your husband, Jesse. Anyone who can upholster like that and be so supportive of your redecorating must be one fantastic dad!

    • Ok…now I am crying! Suzy, thank you, thank you, thank you. What you said really struck a chord with me & I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate it! I think bottom line is we all want to do right by our kids & what you said made me realize that we have. It is the hardest job in the world & there are some days where I want to pull my hair out, but it is moments like this that makes it all so worth it! I feel very blessed to have readers/friends like you…thank you!

  3. During a well child check up when Madalyn was about 6 mos old her peds doc noticed this little squiggly thing in her right eye. So a consult was set up with Dr. G at Mason Eye. Come to find out it was a structure used during development of the eye while in utero. It’s suppose to go away but Madalyn’s did not. Now they don’t think it will have any effect on her vision. But while doing all the dilating it was discovered she is near sided in that eye. So glasses and patches we started all at the ripe age of 7 mos. The stories I could tell you about those damn patches. And the hundreds that have been spent on glasses from then till now…she’ll be 13 in March. He eye sight has gotten worse and we were told that it’s pretty common for that to happen when they are near sighted. Infact her current script is -9.something… She’s been told she needs to wear glasses just to protect her good eye because if something were to happen to it she would be legally blind. I tottally get what your saying. No matter what the issue, big or small, anytime it impacts our child in a way that changes this idea we have in our head it is hard and it does take a sec to adjust.

    • Natalie! I had no idea! So can she do contacts at some point or will it always have be glasses? I must say they do make some very stylish glasses nowadays. Makes me wish I needed to wear them on occasion 😉

  4. Jesse, first of all you are one of the most creative and inspirational mama’s I know out there! I just love how you have taken something like a simple eye patch and turned it into something cool, because what 4 year-old wouldn’t want a dinosaur eye patch? I can completely relate with having a kid with a seemingly laundry list of a medical history at the tender age of 4. I also agree, Henry is unique in his own “super cool” way, and you are right on track by teaching him that being different from everyone else can be fun too. Carter has had quite a few medical issues as well and I completely feel your pain with his first surgery being at 8.5 months on his eyes no less. Watching him come out of surgery, floppy, scared, and disoriented was heart breaking. But I was thankful that it was such a simple surgery compared to many other parents and what they endure with their seriously ill children. It can be very difficult to try and navigate the medical field, deciphering what the best route and treatment options are for your child and sometimes second guessing if you over did it or if you haven’t done enough and wondering how people are going to judge you for the choices you have made regarding YOUR child. With Carter starting at a new preschool down here this week I was cringing as I had to list off his medical history (in brief) as well as any “issues” the school would have to be aware of with him. I always feel like I am defending myself and the choices we have made with his medical treatments or the specialists he has seen or continues to go to. Then I remind myself that as a good (certainly not perfect) parent, that I made the choice to make sure my child was going to get the help he needs by getting him into the specialists he has needed to see and making sure that we are constantly staying on top of his issues. Anyways, whew, that was kind of long winded and it is nice knowing there are other mama’s facing the same or similar types of issues and decisions to make each and every day. You are an awesome mom, and your kids are simply adorable and I think Henry looks very dapper and handsome with his glasses. On one last note, there is a kid who was in Carter’s preschool class back in CoMo, who by the way you have described Henry’s eye issues, has had very similar issues and wears an eye patch in the morning as well. He has adjusted quite well to having the glasses and patch and most of the kids wanted to have glasses and a patch just like him. It is indeed “super cool” to be different! Thank you for sharing your story about Henry.

    • Thank you Robyn, for sharing that! And you are so right…we are doing right by our children and bottom line that is all that matters! I’m not happy that you had to go through all of that, but I am glad that I have a friend who knows what it is like!

  5. As a parent and a grandparent of 4 wonderful children, I got to see inside what makes Henry tick in this blog. He is resilient, sensible, and strong. He came into this world with the raw materials to take life head on, and you and Sam have helped him refine those skills to face any issue. I am so proud of him and your family. Henry is amazing and what a lucky little guy to have you and Sam as his parents. Oliver too! Love you so much!

    • Thanks, mom…have I told you lately thank you for being one unbelievable mommy girl? Thank you. Thank you for all that you sacrificed, thank you for all that you taught me by your actions, thank you for all the unconditional love & support you have always had for me, & thank you for always being there…love you.
      Oh & thanks for all the laughs, too, Dale ;). xoxo. How’d it go today trying to avoid having people stand on your right side??? Lol!!!

  6. I just stumbled upon your blog and this post soooo made me want to give you and Henry a big HUG! I was a kid just like Henry and I too wore an eye patch (except mine was to correct a lazy eye). I had a My Little Pony eye patch and a Rainbow Brite eyepatch – both made by my loving momma. You are incredible for hanging tough for your little man and I can tell you from my own experience that the patch really helps and it kept me out of the surgical room. Keep on keepin’ on and feel free to reach out to me if you want to chat!

    • Thank you so much, Val! I’m so glad that it all worked out for you & no surgery…even better! I may be emailing you about some questions if you don’t mind! Thank you so much for offering & I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. If I would have had to wear a patch when I was younger it totally would have been Rainbow Brite, too!!!

  7. Pingback: It is Valentine’s Day and all… | Scout & Nimble

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